Crash Into Me
by theGreatMissJJ
Summary: Fred Weasley has a crush. Can he do anything about it? Some swearing and mentions of indelicate matters. FredCho
1. Default Chapter

Chapter One  
  
So what does it matter if Fred Weasley has a crush? Who cares? George and Lee do. Fred will do anything to keep them from finding out just who the lucky lady might be. Who knows what could happen?  
  
******************************  
  
If George finds out, I'm fucked.  
  
The last time I had a crush on anyone, he thought it would be a lark to show up completely starkers to breakfast and sit himself down next to the object of my desire. You know, it's at times like those that I hate the fact that we're identical to the last freckle (well, almost to the last freckle; I do have the better arse, you know). She thought that George was me. To make things worse, Lee kept calling George "Fred" and me "George."  
  
Fuck.  
  
I can't afford to have that happen this time.  
  
Shit, I can't afford to have that happen anytime. Not if I want to get laid in this century. George's white arse is enough to turn anyone off the Weasley twins for the next million years.  
  
Look at what it did to Angelina.  
  
Yeah.  
  
The thing is, I've had a slight crush on this particular girl ever since my fourth year. But then again, so has nearly everyone else in this school. Even Harry.  
  
Especially Harry.  
  
I know, I know.  
  
It's Cho Chang.  
  
Did I ever tell you there's nothing sexier than a girl on a broom? Besides Harry, she's the best damn flier I've ever seen. The way she leans on her Comet Two-Sixty, the way the wind blows through her long dark hair, her look of intense concentration----  
  
Ahem.  
  
Not that her beauty is a distraction on the pitch. Not at all. Never mind the fact that she could easily land the cover of Babes and Broomsticks. Never mind the fact that the Quidditch cords outline her figure just so. Distracting? Of course not.  
  
Merlin, who am I kidding? It's a bloody nightmare out there.  
  
I don't know how Harry keeps his head. He's always been extremely focused when it came to Quidditch, but bloody hell, if you had even the slightest bit of testosterone, you'd have a raging hard-on within two seconds of seeing her.  
  
The kind that you can't easily pass off as a pencil case or a trick wand.  
  
So, am I nervous about the upcoming match between the Gryffs and the Claws? Nah. I know we have the best damn team here. Harry's a fantastic captain, Alicia, Katie, and Angelina work seamlessly together as our Chasers, Ron's a decent Keeper, and of course, there's George and me, the Human Bludgers.  
  
So the fact that Ravenclaw slaughtered Slytherin last week is of no consequence. Neither is the fact that they flattened Hufflepuff the week before 360 to 10. Nah, I'm not worried at all.  
  
Please excuse me while I go throw up.  
~~~  
  
"Okay, this is what we're up against, team," Harry said. The usual pre-game prep talk. The seven of us were gathered in the lockers as Harry took us through our game.  
  
"The Ravenclaw Chasers are pretty good, but Boot took an injury in the last match, so we have that advantage. Ron, I'd watch out; they favour the Hawkshead formation, and your left side is your weakest. Angelina, Katie, Alicia, their Keeper, Brocklehurst, likes to keep the action centered, so I'd try a Porskoff Ploy. Fred, George, I'm not worried about you two."  
  
Ha. Are you so sure about that, Harry?  
  
"The main thing is to try and score as many goals as possible to give us a leg up," Harry continued. "Cho Chang and I are evenly matched, so in the end it's going to come down between her and me. Fred, I want you to tail me and prevent her from getting the Snitch too quickly. George, you can handle their Chasers."  
  
Sure thing, Harry. Oh no, I don't fancy Cho Chang at all.  
  
"Will do, Captain," George saluted. He grinned.  
  
"No questions then?" Harry asked. "Right. Let's go get 'em."  
  
Out on the pitch, Madam Hooch's whistle went off and we emerged from underground.  
  
I swallowed. Here goes nothing.  
  
"On my whistle," Hooch yelled over the crowd. "Three...two...one..."  
  
"And they off, " Lee's voice came from the stands. "Ackerley of Ravenclaw in possession of the Quaffle, heading toward the Gryffindor goal posts, passes to Boot, who passes it back to---oh! it's intercepted by Katie Bell of Gryffindor, who's tearing up the field towards the Ravenclaw end----nice dodge around that Bludger, Katie---she throws it to Angelina Johnson, who passes it back to----argh, Quaffle intercepted by Roger Davies----"  
  
All right, so I'm supposed to be tailing Harry and marking Cho. I looked around the pitch to see the two of them loping casually around the pitch. Then, as if by some unspoken agreement, they both darted towards each other, and began an incredible flight chase.  
  
A Bludger came hurtling my way and I readied my club and whacked it in Cho's direction, but she saw it coming miles away and easily swerved out of its way.  
  
This was going to be easier said than done, Harry.  
  
"And Alicia Spinnet in posession, back to Katie Bell, to Johnson, back to Bell, and---SHE SCORES! TEN-ZERO TO GRYFFINDOR!"  
  
The girls took a quick victory lap around the pitch amidst the raucous cheers before Madam Hooch blew her whistle.  
  
"They're off again, Johnson of Gryffindor takes the Quaffle----BAM! Excellent Bludger work by George Weasley, Spinnet now in possession---- watch out!----"  
  
I swooped in to slam the Bludger away from Alicia at the same moment she rolled over, dropping the Quaffle.  
  
"Where's your head, Fred Weasley?" Lee's voice shouted from the magical megaphone. "What have you been doing? Ogling at Chang again?"  
  
What?  
  
But Lee continued with his commentary and nobody seemed to notice what he had just said.  
  
"Stewart Ackerley of Ravenclaw back in possession, who throws it to Terry Boot---"  
  
Did no one hear what Lee just said? The game played on without any interruption. I shrugged and went on tailing Cho and Harry.  
  
They whooshed past me, marking each other closely, both intent on preventing the other from catching the Snitch first. After some incredible aerial acrobatic display, both pulled back out of the action to search for the Snitch.  
  
Wait, did Cho Chang just wink at me?  
  
A roar from the crowd got my attention.  
  
"And Johnson ducks Brocklehurst to---Yes! She scores! Thirty-ten to Gryffindor!"  
  
Er...when did we score two more goals? Shit, I'd better start paying more attention.  
  
We scored another two goals, while Davies managed to get one past Ron. I joined George in defending the goal posts. Despite our best efforts, the Ravenclaw Chasers managed to break through and score another ten points.  
  
"The score is now fifty-thirty Gryffindor," Lee's voice blared from the stands. "Boot now in possession and----oh my!"  
  
Both Harry and Cho had started a spectacular dive. At the south end of the field, I saw a glimmer of gold: the Snitch. Both Seekers went haring off after it. The Snitch flitted from one side of the pitch to the other, but both Harry and Cho were never far behind. However, soon Harry, on his Firebolt, started pulling ahead of Cho, whose older broom couldn't compare with his.  
  
THWACK!  
  
The sound of a Beater's club hitting a Bludger cracked throughout the stadium. One of the Ravenclaw Beaters had hit one towards Harry, but he urged his broom on faster and cleared it. But the Bludger continued on its path unobstructed towards----  
  
Oh shit.  
  
Cho.  
  
You know, I'm not exactly sure what happened next. You see, I was conked out. It's not as though I fainted, mind you, but George said that the Bludger hit me in the head as I rushed towards Cho.  
  
Lee's commentary was as follows:  
  
"Grant hits a Bludger twoards the Gryffindor Seeker----come on, Harry, faster!----but it looks as though it will miss----Fred, what in tarnation?-- -Watch out! Merlin, the Bludger has hit Fred Weasley in the head! He crashes into Chang----holy sh---"  
  
Madam Hooch blew the whistle right then. Harry had caught the Snitch and we wont the game, but I was unaware of the fact as I was unconscious on the ground.  
  
"Fantastic, Fred" George congratulated me later in the hospital wing. "Completely daft, you were."  
  
"Piss off," I groaned. I lay back in bed. Madam Pomfrey had bandaged my head, but it still hurt.  
  
"But you were," Lee chimed in. "Fantastic Fred the Flummox. You won us the match you know. You completely took Chang out."  
  
Both started laughing hysterically.  
  
"Boys, both of you, out. Mr. Weasley here has suffered a head injury, and for all we know, he could have sustained some damage to his brain---"  
  
"Oh, but Fred was dropped on his head as a baby, so we knew that already," George said with a wave of his hand. "Maybe this one actually set him right."  
  
Lee snorted and Madam Pomfrey shooed them away. "Out! Out! This boy needs some rest!"  
  
"We're going, we're going," George acquiesed.  
  
Wait," I stopped them. They both turned. "Erm, by the way, you said I took out Cho Chang? What happened to her?"  
  
They exchanged glances.  
  
Shit.  
  
"Well, I can say she's none too happy about what happened," Lee said, his eyes wide. "What were trying to do, save her, Mr. Hero? The Bludger would have missed her anyway. She dodged out of its way right as you crashed into her. You broke her broomstick, though."  
  
"Great way to make an impression, Fred," George added. "You'll be forever branded into her memory as the Flame-Haired-Git-Who-Broke-My-Ruddy-Broom. Congrats, mate. We'll see you tomorrow." The door clicked shut behind them.  
  
Bugger.  
~~~  
  
Why didn't anyone tell me that the Infirmary stinks? There's a horrific pong emanating from underneath the bed next to mine. I think it's a gift left behind by some incontinent visitor who stayed here previously. Disgusting.  
  
A flurry of knocks sounded on the door.  
  
"Who is it?"  
  
"It's Georgianna and Lee-Ann from Circe's Call-Girl Service," George said in a ridiculously high falsetto. "We're here to see a Mr. Fred Weasley? He requested two girls with an assortment of food: Chocolate Frogs, Licorice Whips, Cherry-Suckers---"  
  
I opened the door. Lee and George stood outside the door, each with an armful of contraband goods from Honeydukes.  
  
"I requested two pretty girls, not you two trolls," I said, grinning. "Ah, thanks."  
  
"No problem, mate," Lee said. I popped a few Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans into my mouth. "Figured you couldn't survive on hospital food. Ate some and was sick for a week."  
  
"So where's the entertainment?" I asked, still chewing. "I put out a call to Circe's for a reason."  
  
"Eh, sorry. We were fresh out young, pretty Asians who can work amazing things with faulty broomsticks, like yours," George said, waggling his crimson eyebrows suggestively.  
  
I choked.  
  
George gave a large whack on the back.  
  
"S'alright, Fred. I know all about your sordid fantasies concerning one Ravenclaw Seeker. No need to cry about it."  
  
"No," I coughed, eyes watering. "Jalapeno," I said, pointing to my mouth.  
  
"Oh Fred," Lee said breathily, fluttering his eyeslashes outrageously, "I can't thank you enough for rescuing me from that awful, scary Bludger."  
  
George roared with laughter.  
  
"Is there any way I can make it up to you? Like a kiss, perhaps?" Lee closed his eyes and pursed his lips.  
  
"Get your ugly mug out of my face," I said, shoving him away. George was doubled over with mirth.  
  
"Right," George chortled. "We should go back, Lee. Sweet dreams, Fred."  
  
"Sod off."  
  
Here," Lee said, tossing me a magazine. Babes and Broomsticks. "Thought you'd might enjoy a little light beside reading. Cheers." He winked and left with George.  
  
I thumbed through the magazine. It was last month's issue, with Enorma Svbresky on the centerfold. But when I got to the featured pages, I stopped short.  
  
Those little bastards.  
  
They had charmed the pages so that Cho's face winked at me atop of Enorma's body.  
  
I felt my ears turn red.  
  
There was another knock on the door.  
  
"I said, 'Bugger off.'"  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry, did I come at a bad time?"  
  
I looked up.  
  
"Cho!"  
  
I quickly stashed the magazine on the bedside table and hoped that my ears wouldn't give me away.  
  
"If I did, then I'll go---"  
  
"Oh no-no-no-no, I'm fine. Uh...please come on in."  
  
She smiled and walked in. She had a bouquet of flowers in her hand, which she set on the bedside table, right next to the, oh shit----  
  
"Babes and Broomsticks," she said, picking up the offending magazine. She lifted a delicately arched eyebrow in amusement. "I saw this one. Last month's issue, with Enorma Svbresky. She's all right, but I always thought Clio Toris had better breasts." She flipped through the pages.  
  
Whoa, down boy. Blood rapidly leaving brain and heading southwards.  
  
She was coming across Enorma's pages when I panicked and quickly snatched it back from her. "Er, right. Now I know what to get you for your birthday." I flashed her my most winning smile, cursing my Weasley complexion.  
  
She laughed softly.  
  
"Er, sit down," I said, inclining my head to indicate the chair next to the bed. Oh, ow, definitely not a good idea.  
  
She pulled up the chair.  
  
"Actually, I came to thank you for what you did out there on the pitch today."  
  
"What, you didn't come to discuss the art of pornography with me?"  
  
Damn.  
  
She laughed again. Merlin, that's a gorgeous sound.  
  
"No, sorry. I came to discuss a slightly more mundane topic with you. Namely, Quidditch fouls."  
  
"Listen, I'm so sorry about what happened today, especially about your broom. I feel such an arse----"  
  
"No, it's all right, Fred. It's the thought that counts. You tried to save me from the Bludger, and that means a lot to me. Your brother George told me that you'd appreciate a visit from me to thank you, so here I am."  
  
She smiled sweetly.  
  
Whoa, stomach seems to have disappeared.  
  
"Wow, um. thanks, er, Cho."  
  
"Sure. I hope you feel better soon. I should probably get going now----"  
  
"Hang on," I interrupted, grabbing her hand. She glanced at it before I let go and blushed furiously.  
  
Damn my stupid parents for cursing me with their genes.  
  
"I want to make up for the loss of your broom," I said. "I'll buy you a new one."  
  
"That's not necessary," she said. She grinned. "A lifetime subscription to Quidditch in the Buff will suffice."  
  
"I'm serious. I want to buy you a new broom."  
  
Did I just say "serious?" Was Fred Weasley ever serious? Did I even know how to be?  
  
It caught her attention. Her face softened.  
  
"If that's what you'd like, Fred," she said. "We'll meet at the front entrance on the next Hogsmeade trip and go take a look at Quality Quidditch Supplies."  
  
Was this a date? Did Cho Chang just ask me out on a date?  
  
She gave me one last smile and turned to leave.  
  
"Oh, and by the way," she said on her way out. "My breasts are nowhere near as large as Enorma Svbresky's. You might tell that to your brother and your friend Lee Jordan."  
  
And with that, she was gone.  
  
I am so in love with this girl already. 


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter Two  
  
A date with Cho Chang? No problem, right?  
  
******************************  
  
Why can't the weekends get here any bloody faster?  
  
Okay, so I should probably be paying attention to Binns. Or at least thinking up pranks with George and Lee. But at best, all I can think of is setting off a Dungbumb underneath Moaning Myrtle to see how she will react. Not my finest idea, but that's not surprising considering all I can think about is her.  
  
No, not Moaning Myrtle.  
  
Cho.  
  
Since that day she came to visit me in the hospital wing, I've seen very little of her. A couple times in passing and during meals is all.  
  
Because I was staring at her at breakfast this morning, I completely missed it when George and Lee slipped an Insta-Print Pastille into my cereal. Our newest creative from Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes, and a pure stroke of genius, if I do say so myself.  
  
Only we haven't exactly worked out all the kinks so I spent the rest of that morning in the loos with a face as plaid as McGonagall's tartan.  
  
Not exactly a lift in the ole ego department.  
  
Shit, and I'm nervous enough as it is.  
  
I spent the entire week thinking about Saturday. What I was going to wear, exactly how I was going to broach the subject of going out with her, how suave I will have to be, and hoping that I don't develop a spot on my nose or fall sick or trip or----  
  
On second though, Saturday just can't be far enough away.  
  
To make things worse, Cho must have told her friends about me and now everywhere I turn, there's a gaggle of giggling Ravenclaw girls, all whispering and pointing fingers. It's bloody annoying; Ravenclaw girls at every corner: right outside Binns' door, hanging about Rochester's desk, coming in from the pitch after Quidditch matches.  
  
George thinks the attention is fantastic. Girls mix us up all the time and he's taking advantage of it; he's taken to parading the corridors with a sign that reads, "Hullo, I'm Fred Weasley, sex god. Talk to me."  
  
Hell, I just want to talk to Cho.  
  
Oh Merlin. A giggle.  
  
"Are you Fred Weasley?"  
  
I turned around to see someone who appeared to be a fifth year.  
  
"Nah, my name's Harry Potter," I said, straight-faced.  
  
The girl looked surprised for a moment before erupting into strident giggles.  
  
"Oh, you're funny!"  
  
Thank you. You know, I'm hoping to make a living out of it someday.  
  
"Uh.right," I said. "Can I help you?"  
  
Another giggle. Shit, Merlin, what have I done to deserve this?  
  
I tried to think of a quick way out of the situation.  
  
"Listen, you're a pretty girl," I said, sidling up alongside her, wrapping my arm companionably around her shoulders. She giggled again, and stared at me with large, blue eyes over a freckled nose.  
  
Freckles.  
  
"And I have a proposition that might interest you," I said, dropping my voice conspiratorially. "I might have just the thing you're looking for."  
  
She giggled again. Don't girls know how to do anything else? Like, I dunno, talk?  
  
"How would you like to get rid of those freckles?" I asked, gesturing to her face. Her giggles stopped immediately and her wide blue eyes got even wider.  
  
"Honestly? Really and truly?" she demanded.  
  
"Really and truly," I promised. "Now, of course, it's not a permanent thing, mind you, but I guarantee that after you take a bite of this," I pull out a spare Insta-Print Pastille from my pocket with a flourish, "tomorrow you'll wake up and won't see a single freckle on your face." I flash her the trademark Weasley Twin smile and press the candy into her willing palm. "Compliments of Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes."  
  
"You promise?" she asked fiercely. "You swear that I won't have a freckled face tomorrow?"  
  
"I promise," I said, holding my left hand up and crossing my right over my heart.  
  
Yes, I promise that you'll wake up and not see a single freckle. Instead, you'll see a face like Lee's Hawaiian print undershorts.  
  
"How much?" she asked dubiously.  
  
"Normally, George and I charge four Sickles for a packet of six, but for you, darling, I'll charge five Knuts for this one."  
  
Within an instant, I was five Knuts richer and the girl was completely Insta-Print unawares.  
  
This day was starting to look up.  
  
Another soft giggle.  
  
"Now, girls, don't you all swamp me at once," I said, holding my hands up, "I know I'm devastatingly handsome, but at the moment, I'm all out."  
  
"That's a pity," said Cho, "Because I did look forward to having my face an exact replica of the Muggle Underground."  
  
"Cho!" As I whirled around to face her, my voice chose that exact, fucking moment to crack.  
  
Bugger.  
  
"Fred," she smiled. Merlin, she is gorgeous.  
  
"Er.um."  
  
"Don't worry, I didn't see that. I won't report you, despite the fact that peddling slightly dangerous wares to younger students is in direct violate of Educational Decree Number Three Hundred Sixty-Six."  
  
Was she joking? Her beautiful dark eyes were looking at mine in earnest seriousness.  
  
She broke in laughter. I relaxed and let a silly smile grace my face.  
  
"I've been meaning to talk to you all week," she began. "I'm sorry that I couldn't get around to it sooner, but I've been incredibly busy."  
  
"I've-been-meaning-to-talk-to-you-all-week-too," I said all in one breath. She raised her eyebrows in surprise. "About Hogsmeade," I said quickly. "About Hogsmeade."  
  
"Right," Cho said, tucking her hair behind her ears and looking slightly embarrassed, "About that."  
  
"If you don't want to go out with me, I mean, come with me, I completely understand---"  
  
"No, no, it's not that," she said, looking even more flustered. Bloody hell, she looked good even when she was embarrassed. "I was actually wondering if you'd, that is, if you don't mind---"  
  
She smoothed her hair behind her ears again. I nodded encouragingly.  
  
"Ifyou'dliketospendtheentiredaywithme," she finished hastily, looking at her feet.  
  
Merlin, she was actually blushing.  
  
"What's that?" I grinned, "I didn't quite catch that the first time."  
  
She looked up at me with a slight wrinkle between her brows that was simply all-too-adorable. She rolled her eyes, but I caught a small smile on her lips.  
  
"I was wondering if you would like to spend the entire day with me at Hogsmeade on Saturday," she enunciated clearly.  
  
Ah, that was music to my ears.  
  
"Why, Cho Chang, are you asking me, the Infamous Fred Weasley, out on a date?" I knew that I had an infatuated grin on my face but I didn't care.  
  
"Why yes, I suppose I am," she answered, smiling back.  
  
"If that's the case, ma'am, then I am perfectly willing to spend the whole day with you."  
  
Score.  
  
"I'll see you Saturday morning, then," she said. "Nine o'clock, in the Great Hall."  
  
She gave me one last smile before she turned on her heel and left, her long, dark hair swirling out behind her like a sparkling cape.  
  
Yep, the day was certainly starting to look up.  
~~~  
  
All right, this was going to be a delicate process. How to enjoy the day with Cho while at the same time, avoiding both George and Lee.  
  
Nobody was around, right?  
  
Good, perfect.  
  
So far, so good.  
  
This was going to be perfect. I was just going to sit there in the Great Hall until nine o'clock, when, at the first sign of Cho, I was going to whip us both out of there before you could say "Bob's your uncle," thereby missing my twin and our best friend entirely.  
  
It was a flawless plan.  
  
Now, all I had to do was wait for three and a half hours.  
  
~~~  
  
"Shh, shh, we don't want to wake him yet."  
  
"Well, if you weren't yelling at the top of your bloody lungs---"  
  
"Oh shut up, Lee."  
  
I opened my eyes to a very bright, piercing light. George and Lee were leaning over me.  
  
Oh shit.  
  
"Morning, lovely," George said cheerfully, "You wouldn't want to be late on your date with Cho, now would you?" His face spasmed and he chortled before quickly regaining composure.  
  
Oh shit.  
  
Oh holy shit.  
  
I sat up suddenly.  
  
"Lee, George, what time is it?"  
  
"About five minutes before the hour, mate," Lee answered. "The others should be down soon."  
  
He was grinning far too much for this to be good.  
  
"All right, you two, what did you do to me?"  
  
George raised his right hand.  
  
"I solemnly swear that absolutely nothing was added to, or taken away, from your handsome mug."  
  
I looked from George to Lee, who was tacitly standing beside my brother nodding in agreement, and back to George again.  
  
"You swear?" I asked skeptically.  
  
"On our mother's temper," George asserted.  
  
I raised my eyebrow at him, but believed his words anyway.  
  
He did swear on our mother's temper, you know.  
  
The doors rustled and in walked Cho.  
  
"Well, good luck and have fun, mate." Lee slapped my back and I could have sworn he gave my brother a wink.  
  
Oh Merlin.  
  
"Hey boys," Cho smiled. "Going to Hogsmeade too?"  
  
"Nah," George waved her off. "Lee and I've got some work to catch up on, right Lee?"  
  
"Uh.right," Lee said. "Have fun, the both of you."  
  
Cho waved at them and then smiled at me on the floor. She smoothed her hair behind her ears in a slightly nervous gesture. "Well, are we ready?"  
  
"Sure thing, Cho," I said, starting to get up.  
  
Did her lips just twitch?  
  
"Shall we be off, then?" she asked, extending me her hand.  
  
Er.er.um.hand.right.don't panic.it's just a hand.  
  
"Um.um.er.um.let's go."  
  
Goddammit, why wouldn't my bloody lips work?  
  
"Erm.do you want to pop by Quality Quidditch Supplies first?" I asked, taking her hand and hoping she wouldn't notice how sweaty they were. "I still need to get you a new broom."  
  
"Oh.that," she said, tucking her hair behind her ears again. "Um.why don't we stop by the Three Broomsticks first and chat over a mug of butterbeer?"  
  
"Sounds great, Cho," I grinned, happy. Her lips twitched again.  
  
Was it something I said?  
  
"Lead the way, Fred," she said. I bowed and offered her my arm and we headed out the door towards Hogsmeade.  
  
~~~  
  
Shopping with Cho was an interesting experience. Every time I was stopped and asked whom I was with, I got the same reaction: a quizzical look and then a laugh.  
  
What, the magnificent Fred Weasley isn't good enough to go on a date with the beautiful Cho Chang? I'll have you know that it was she who asked me, not the other way around.  
  
Take that.  
  
On our outing together, we stopped by Curly and Queue's Sickle-comic book store first.  
  
"The latest Horrendous Hilda the Hairy Hag is out and I want to buy it," Cho had told me.  
  
Horrendous Hilda the Hairy Hag? She likes comic books? A woman after my own heart.  
  
We spent a good hour or so perusing through Curly and Queue's. She had insisted that I buy this month's issue of Quidditch in the Buff (since I was of age) and then promptly stole it from me as soon as I purchased it.  
  
Devious little bird.  
  
I liked it.  
  
After that, she dragged me to See-Dee Sam's to buy some wizarding music put onto Muggle "see-dees". I'd seen "see-dees" before (Dad has an extensive collection; we use them as coasters) but didn't know what they were actually used for.  
  
"They're for music, Fred," Cho said. "Muggles have tons of them."  
  
I picked out a Jumpin' Frankie the Muggleborn's Greatest Hits and she chose a Veela Rick.  
  
"'I Want to Polish Your Wand,'" she remarked, leaning over to see what I had bought. "That has to be a wizard rock classic."  
  
Can anyone get more perfect than her?  
  
"So, where to now, Cho?" I asked, walking along eating candied apples from Honeydukes. She looked at me, and again there was that amused little twitching of her lips.  
  
"I don't know," she answered, taking a large bite out of her apple. "Where do you want to go now, Fred?"  
  
How about you and me head out to the Shrieking Shack and----  
  
Okay, let's stop this train of thought.  
  
"Cho!"  
  
We both turned and she waved at a group of Ravenclaws, who gave her a hug and then proceeded to stare at me strangely before bursting into a fit of giggles.  
  
Girls.  
  
What was it about me that was so amusing?  
  
"Ooh, look, Queer Quentin's Costume and Thrift Shoppe is having a sale," Cho said suddenly, grabbing my hand. I almost dropped my candied apple. "Let's go have a look, shall we?"  
  
She turned to smile at me and I think the bottom of my stomach just dropped out.  
  
We walked into this thift "shoppe," which was a pretty sketchy place if you ask me. An old man was sitting behind the counter, reading this week's issue of the Quibbler.  
  
"Gu'day, Miss Cho," Queer Quentin greeted us from behind the counter when he heard the bell. He gave me the oddest look.  
  
"Oi, you there," he said, pointing at me, "You've got----"  
  
"Oh, Quentin," Cho interrupted hastily. "This is Fred Weasley. Fred, this is Quentin Thimblelake. Quentin, Fred is a seventh year Gryffindor." She practically shoved me forward.  
  
"Gryffindor, eh?" Queer Quentin asked, staring at me and rubbing his forehead in a distracting manner. "That was my house, boy."  
  
"Oh," I said, unsure of how to reply.  
  
"Now you behave yourself, young man," he said, wagging his finger at me, "That there girl you got is a tricky wand. Aren't you, Miss Cho?"  
  
Again, that weird look.  
  
"Quentin, you give me a bad name," Cho smiled fondly. "Come on, Fred," she said, turning to me. "Let's go have a look through the store."  
  
She dragged me away from the counter, with Queer Quentin still give me a bizarre look and rubbing his forehead.  
  
Holy shit, this bloke Quentin has an entire storeful of junk. Wizarding fashion from eras bygone line the shelves and hang off hangers.  
  
"Look!"  
  
I turned around to see that Cho had put on a ridiculous hat, wide-brimmed, trimmed with large, floppy ribbons, and doves.  
  
Those weren't real doves, were they?  
  
I tentatively reached out to touch one when it gave an offended squawk and nipped at my finger. Then it ruffled its feathers with dignity and resumed holding its position.  
  
"Ha, a corset!" Cho exclaimed, leaving the offending hat in my hands and picking up the aforementioned object. She slipped it on and tried to lace it.  
  
I suddenly felt very hot.  
  
And my pants seemed to grow tighter with every lace she was lacing up.  
  
"I know," she said, seeing my, er, interested expression. "Why don't you find something to wear and I'll find something to wear as a joke. In five minutes time, we'll meet back here and show each other the most outrageous, silly, and ridiculous outfit we can find. What say you?"  
  
Why is it that girls always want to play dress-up? I was perfectly content to just watch her, thankyouverymuch.  
  
"Oh, come on, Fred," she cajoled, punching me lightly in the arm. "It will be fun. I promise."  
  
I raised my eyebrow at her, but had to smile at her infectious grin.  
  
"All right, Cho."  
  
Her grin widened before she burst out into a laugh.  
  
"Five minutes, Fred."  
  
And with that, she disappeared through the stacks.  
  
All right, Fred. Let's find something quick to satisfy Cho's whims and be done with it.  
  
What caught my eye was a yellow feather boa.  
  
Hmmm.  
  
I walked up to the three-way mirror, struck a pose, and threw the loose end of it around my neck.  
  
"Mmm-hmmm, this one's a cutie," said a voice to my left, startling me into a jump.  
  
"I always did love red hair," said another voice to my right.  
  
I looked around, but there was no one there.  
  
Oh, the mirrors.  
  
"Ooh, look at those arms, so strong," purrs Leftie. "He's a strong lad."  
  
I grinned.  
  
"That's right, ladies," I said, wrapping the boa further around my neck. "Take a good look at Fred Weasley and admire him."  
  
"Fred Weasley," said the center mirror thoughtfully. "So you're the one she's been talking about."  
  
She? What, did they mean Cho?  
  
"Mmm.I can see why," murmurs the mirror on my right.  
  
"You'd better believe it," I answered, trying to wipe the silly grin off my face. So she's been talking about me, eh? I scrutinized my reflection; the mirrors were right, I was a handsome dog. "Cho'd better eat her heart out."  
  
Bloody hell, what the fuck was that?  
  
"Oh." said the center mirror in a not-so-good tone of voice, verifying that I had, in fact, seen what I thought I'd seen.  
  
I am going to murder my brother and my so-called best friend.  
  
Whenever I said Cho's name, the freckles on my face flared a bright blue to spell out the words "Cho's Bitch" right in the middle of my forehead.  
  
No, they didn't add or subtract anything from my face.  
  
They just charmed my bleeding freckles.  
  
No wonder people kept staring at me all day.  
  
"Cho," I said experimentally.  
  
The words "Cho's Bitch" flared on my forehead momentarily before my freckles faded back to their normal colour.  
  
"Cho," I said again. This time the words were orange.  
  
"Cho."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
I whirled around.  
  
"Cho!"  
  
I stepped on the end of the feather boa and crashed into her, falling on top of her, and entangling ourselves together, tied by the feathery menace around my neck.  
  
"Oh shit, Cho, I'm so sorry," I apologize, acutely aware of the fact that "Cho's Bitch" was flashing across on my forehead in bright chartreuse.  
  
"Geroff," she grunted, pushing at me. I rolled over, but that only served to entangle us further.  
  
"Argh," I said, struggling to get myself free.  
  
We both fought our way into standing position, but Cho was doubled over in laughter, so much so that I couldn't keep balance for the two of us. We fell over again and this time I crashed into the three-way mirror.  
  
"Hey!" shouted the middle one.  
  
"Sorry!" I shouted, the back of my head aching like mad.  
  
"Get me out of this bloody thing," Cho said between laughs, struggling to unwrap the boa and wriggle out of it.  
  
Okay, stop wriggling right there.  
  
But she wasn't a clairvoyant so she didn't hear my thoughts. Instead, I had Cho's bum nestled right in my crotch and she was trying to wriggle her way out of this mess.  
  
"Er.um."  
  
"What's going on back there?" Quentin's voice came filtering in from the front of the "shoppe."  
  
"Nothing!" Cho yelled back, still laughing, "We're fine."  
  
"We are not fine," I said, trying to keep my thoughts on not-so-racy things, like puppydogs, and butterflies.  
  
We stumbled our way through the store, knocking various and sundry items off their shelves.  
  
"Hey!" Quentin protested, "You're going to have to pay for anything you break, you know."  
  
"We know!" Cho and I shouted.  
  
We hopped our way to the front door. "Can you cut this off?" I asked the storekeeper.  
  
"You're going to have to pay for it."  
  
"Here, Quentin," Cho said, tossing a few Sickles at him. Quentin came forward to help wrest us apart and within an instant, I heard a snap! and was left with half the feather boa in my hand.  
  
"You kids better start heading back to the castle," Quentin advised us, setting Cho on her feet. "It's getting dark."  
  
I glanced outside and looked at Cho, who had a few flyaway feathers stuck in her dark hair.  
  
"All right. Fred?"  
  
"Sure thing, Cho."  
  
Her mouth twitched again.  
  
"I know George and Lee bewitched my forehead," I told her. She smiled before hiding it behind her hand. "And you've been letting me walk around Hogsmeade like this all day?"  
  
"Well, I didn't want to tell you that you had 'Cho's Bitch' written on your forehead," she said. "Besides," she grinned, "I rather liked it."  
  
I shook my head and we started heading back to Hogwarts.  
  
"Here," I said, handing her my half of the boa.  
  
"No," she said, shaking her head. "You keep it. A memento, I suppose."  
  
I smiled.  
  
When we got to the steps, I started sweating, even though the night had turned cold. What did she want me to do? Give her a goodnight kiss? Ask her out on another date?  
  
I was getting more and more nervous with each step home and I could literally feel the spots erupting all over my face.  
  
"Well," she said softly when we got to the Ravenclaw common room. "It was lovely, Fred."  
  
Ah shit, I had forgotten completely about our original purpose for setting out into Hogsmeade.  
  
"Oh, Cho, your broom---"  
  
She cut me off by lightly tracing "Cho's Bitch" on my forehead.  
  
She smiled, illuminated by the torchlights flickering in the corridor.  
  
"Next time."  
  
Without another word, she turned and stepped into her common room, leaving me standing there with a boa in hand and somewhat confused.  
  
Next time?  
  
There was going to be a next time?  
  
I smiled again and pocketed the boa. 


End file.
